My Dad Should Be Glad I'm Not Khmer!

As I mentioned in my last post, this past Sunday, the cook at Partners in Progress got married. Avey (or Avy, Awey, Awy and Awi as I have also seen her name written) is originally from a village known as “ Da Kamal” (my absurd phonetic spelling of the name) in Kandal Province. “Da Kamal” literally means “Grandfather Black”, but no one I asked knows where the village got this name. At any rate, I, along with a vanload full of other staff members from PIP left at around 9am on Sunday to make the nearly 2 hour drive to Avey’s family home.

Before I explain our adventure, let me begin by telling those of you who don’t know, that Cambodians take their weddings very seriously. In the U.S., couples have been known to spend exorbitant amounts of money on rather elaborate marriage ceremonies. However, compared to the multi-day extravaganza of ceremonies, feasting, and clothing changes that a traditional Cambodian wedding involves, ours seem downright plain! And when you factor in the average income in Cambodia, the several thousand dollars spent on these affairs easily becomes a life savings spent in a matter of days. (So remember, girls, when your fathers get upset over the cost of your wedding dress or catering, to tell him “It could be worse. At least I’m not Khmer!)
But back to Avey’s wedding….

Our little PIP group arrived at the village around 11am. We then parked our vehicle on an obliging neighbor’s land, and loaded up on a ferry to cross the river.

On the other side of the water, we walked a little ways, led by the sounds of Buddhist chants and songs until we found a large tent set up next to some small homes. The tent is where the many guests at the wedding would later enjoy an elaborate 8-course meal of fried fish, chicken, pork rolls and crab. More on that later.

First, we wanted to see Avey! In Cambodia, weddings do not happen at all like they do in the states. Because they often last for many days, the different ceremonies the bride and group go through are not watched by all the guests. So, many people in attendance were sitting in the tent waiting for the meal even while Avey and her husband-to-be were inside a house going through the process of getting married. It was a little awkward to climb up to the place where the ceremony was being held and walk in on the middle of chanting and different things, but no one really seemed to mind that we were there. Several ladies even came and pulled me to them and tried to help me find a comfortable seat to watch everything. I don’t know how to describe all of the different ceremonies I witnessed, because I honestly have no idea what most of it meant. But I do have a few interesting photos of the proceedings, so I thought I’d share them and let them speak for themselves.

Guests give gifts of money and tie red strings on the bride and groom's wrists to ward off evil spirits.
After the ceremonies, Avey came down for some photo ops.
Notice the many different outfits Avey is sporting in these pictures? Apparently she changed clothes 10 times, though I only saw 4 of those outfits.

And here are some pictures of our humongous meal. Seriously, it was so big that, even though I and the other vegetarian in our group only picked out the veggies, peanuts and rice from the different dishes that were served, in the end, we were stuffed full from our grazing! (You can’t really see vegetables in any of my pictures because they were under the meat in most cases)

This is mostly crab meat in various forms, though there are some peanuts in the bottom right corner.

And here is a spicy soup. Yummy!

This is chicken. Thankfully it had been beheaded and defooted prior to serving. That's not usually how I see them in the market!

This is the vat the fish were in before being fried.

And here's the whole fish on a plate. The eye is supposed to be the best part!

We had to rush back to Phnom Penh to make it in time for church services at 4pm, so we left the party very early around 2:30pm. Needless to say, my first Khmer wedding was definitely a unique and interesting cultural experience! While I enjoyed being a guest for the festivities, seeing such an elaborate event made me feel tired for those having to put it on. In fact, I decided that if I were Khmer, I’d probably just forgo the whole thing and elope!